Scadalous/ Wednesday, August 30
often..it's known that it's almost impossible fer a guy and a girl to be SUPER close..but juz frenz..and again..the word is ALMOST impossible..not impossible...often..it's seen around ur frens life..around ur life..or even in ur life..but well..haf u ever experienced it?? woke up fer work todaee..sumtimes i love work..sumtimes i juz dread it..sometimes time seems to pass so fast..yet sometimes.. time juz refuse to move on as quickly as it use to be..ironically..life's like this..sumtimes..u flash back..and u think..'wah..time past so fast hor..so fast..2 mths ..3 mths already..'..and the ans is yes..it's been 1 1/2 yrs fer me in poly..yet..sumtimes u feel..time is so slow..'it's been 2 mths..3 mths..but how can it bee?? so much had happened!! it seems like 2 yrs..'..fer me..it's the latter..my life had been hovering like a lost fast speed rocket..thru these yrs..right after my 'O's..i felt my life change..i saw myself grow..i'm no longer the innocent girl..who use to think everything works with a heart of gold..and a genuine self will take u to a non superficial world..but hey..grow up..think..life's not like this..u're not in ur fairytale land..and it's sad..yes..it saddens me..i'm not like this..i dun wanna be in such a superficial world..where has all the good gone to? and why is human so evil? filled with greed..filled with selfishness..haf they forgotten.. wad selflessness is? haf they forgotten..how to feel other ppl's pain?i noe i might haf been wrong myself..and i noe sumtimes i dun deserve some frenships..but hey..think back..am i onli one who doesn't deserve ur frenship? haf u ever did sumthing to sumone..who doesn't deserve theirs too? or even mine..but wad's deserving? wad's not? we try..and sumtimes we try too hard..sumtimes..a genuine heart is often greeted by fears and anger lashing furiously at it..can u sense? are u watching this heart bleed? and are u causing it to bleed? now think..if u were this piece of delicate heart..totally defendless..how can anyone bear to do this.? i can't..no matter how much i seem to dislike..or even hate u if u think i do..i'm telling u now..i dun and i nv did..maybe at that split moment of anger i did..but still..it's not with my real heart..no matter how sour things seems btw us..or any of us..i'm telling u..i'm still willing to be a fren..and sumone juz came over my mind..arieL..this girl..though not super close to me..had touch me in mani ways..thru the tough times..i know she was nv alwaes with me..but at last she saw..and she approached with a genuine heart..and i thank God..she was given to mee..sumhow..i juz feel..this girl's very much like me..sumhow..dere's juz this connection..sophan..he's been a blessin to me all these times too..though sumtimes u might fail..juz sumtimes..but he's been here..y do ppl lash out unhappily to others? insecurity?! for another fren..?! judge..and who are we to judge others?! they are wrong..you are wrong..but hey..where's the.."maybe i'm wrong.." if onli..we can embrace in each others warmth..and no one's wrong..everything happens fer a reason..if sumone meets a car accident and dies..who's fault? the driver? think deeper..could it be God?? His fault? God's fault fer creating him and letting him die..thus causing everyone close to him suffer his death?! y not Thank him..fer creating him..and giving him memories..y not thank him..fer the legacy he's left behind in many ppl's life..his purpose is served..and God is taking him back to reward him..Kai..my real life example..i lashed out..furiously at him..yet he nv retaliates..no matter how much i detested him and pecked on his helping hand til it drew blood..he nv complains one word..i'm glad i manage to get him back as a fren..and his legacy in my life? Forgiveness... maybe u've guessed it..yes..sum of u noe..sum dun..kai's this great honourable pal..who passed awae abt a yr back?! he's a fren i met by chance..grew closer..became my best fren's guy..til i detested him and kept refusing him..to a fren i found back..who died..and nv came back..maybe sum of u hate me now..maybe sum dislike me now..maybe this is the best wae to sae..it's ok..not everyone loves everyone..not everyone likes everyone..no matter how bad u were..or used to be to me..it's ok..juz tell me u still find a fren in me..and i'll be dere..i admit defeat to fate..it's not popularity i need as u all as frenz..i juz dun wish fer ppl to see me with coloured eyes..it realli saddens me..a genuine heart..is worth more than hatred..more than urself..Forgiveness..is the greatest virtue one can get..and..The greatest distance btw 2 is the bridge in their heart..
indulgence in the wee hrs 0f..
10:47:00 PM
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